Is it just me, or have you noticed how many conversations, especially online, sound like combat? Social media seems to encourage this black-and-white, either/or battle by rewarding outrage and “I’m right and you’re wrong!”
Where’s the reflection, curiosity and care gone?
For the truth of most things, especially human things, lies in the middle ground, the “grey!”
Unfortunately, instead, we’re hard-wired for simplicity, for yes/no, on/off duality rather than the “grey.”
Now, if you were a client, I would use that preference to your advantage, showing you how to find yourself in midlife with simple yet extraordinarily powerful means and techniques.
A very good thing!
However, that dualistic simplicity is also why we seek clarity and belonging, clinging to a “side” which is not always a very good thing.
Indeed, that’s why algorithms feed us more of what keeps us wound up!
But living in constant “adversarial alert” is freakin’ exhausting!
We don’t need to agree to stay connected, but what we do need is to screw the algorithms.
How?
To stop knee-jerk reacting and reclaim the lost art of respectful debate!
So, when something you read triggers a strong emotion, pause, reflect and be curious. My favourite self-reflection is to address my emotional reaction, “Oh, hello you. It’s you again. What’s going on with you?”
Then I can get clear… BEFORE shooting my mouth off!
No, seriously… If we’re to have healthy discourse, we all need to be humble enough to ask, “Please say more about how you see it,” and the courage to say, “I might be wrong” or “I hadn’t thought of it that way.”
What if two different things can be true at the same time?
Rumi once said, “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing or rightdoing, there is a field. I’ll meet you there.”
While your logical mind might have fused big-time by now, when we model respect and seek to understand and empathise, we create a safe space to agree to disagree rather than attack.
Creating a middle ground for mutual understanding isn’t a weakness. It’s wisdom.
In a culture obsessed with taking sides, choosing to stay open is a quiet act of rebellion, woman.
A quiet act of rebellion!
Codicil: EXCEPT when there’s an “ism” involved, like fascism or an “ogyny,” like misogyny. Anything less than ferocious opposition and they’ll steamroll right over you!
Love and wild warm wishes…
Guiding 37+ ambitious women from “I didn’t sign up for this!”
to reclaim their spark, redefine their path, and design a life they love.
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