Everyone fears the bully!
How do I know?
Were you allowed to roam free as a child, to be and do as you pleased, to sleep all day and play all night if you wanted?
No… you weren’t…
There would have been times when you ranted and railed, separated from your favourite toy or activity because it was time to… get ready for bed, go to school, visit Aunt Nelly or some other parent-led activity.
And for some of us, it was far worse.
I still remember standing beside my baby sister’s cot, mesmerized by her golden curls as she slept. But when she woke crying, my mother stormed in like a banshee.
Her teeth bared like an animal, her hands gripping my shoulders like a vice, and she started shaking me violently as she yelled in my face, “What did you do to her?”
Did I learn to be afraid of the bully?
You bet I did!
Conditioning starts with being bullied.
Parents, family, teachers, the tribe into which you’re born, and wider society all push, shove, and shape us into their idea of “right”.
Every parent has been a bully at some time.
All of us who’ve been children have been bullied.
And because of that, we’ve all learned to fear the bully.
So, when a hard man comes along and says if you don’t release hostages by my inauguration, all hell will be let loose, people get their arses into gear and make a start!
And what about warmongering, dictatorial regimes and power plays of any kind, including coercive relationships?
Bullying, bullying, bullying!
When I was divorcing and incapacitated by an excruciatingly painful slipped disc, my ex-husband tried to sell the marital home from right under me as I lay in my sick bed.
He and his solicitor then proposed a vile final settlement deal that would have had him owning half of whatever home I managed to scrape together in the future.
Pernicious bullying when they knew I was down!
So, how can you deal with the bully?
You make a start by dealing with your own.
Shock? Horror?
But I’ve never bullied anyone in my whole life!
Haven’t you, not even yourself?
We all have an inner bully. It’s a product of your conditioning, the voice that nags, criticises, and judges you.
What is your internal critic, if not a bully?
Once you face it, work with it to heal and grow, and transform your bully’s energy for your highest good, you are free.
And…
When you no longer fear yours, the power of an external bully will collapse like an unplugged balloon…
With love and wild warm wishes…
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