Crash and burn! Crash and burn! Crash and burn!
I thought that pattern was way behind me. It’s been years since I’ve done that to myself, but, just now, I can feel myself teetering on the edge of it.
Too many fingers in too many pies, my thirst for learning attracting me to too many things to reasonably do in a 24-hour cycle… including sleep!
I’m not sleeping… Well, yes, I am, but it’s hard to get off to sleep. And, as a woman of a certain age, the bathroom call interrupts it too…
And, to be honest, I’ve been on social media too much… Too much stimulation of the wrong kind; whooping, bragging, and hair-flicking of every kind.
It’s all triggered a bit of a sciatic flare-up again. And…
I feel a mixture of #21 and #23 on the emotional treasure map; a mash-up of being in the wilderness and the WTF quicksand all at the same time.
ENOUGH!
I’ve now withdrawn from two delicious-looking new learning journeys, reigning myself in to just my current two. And, right now, I’m not even sure I’ll make my glorious networking events this week.
As for my existing coursework, posts, emails, and other work-related tasks, I’m allowing myself to slow down and complete them at my own pace.
As my late brother-in-law would say, “It’s island time!”
Not quite the Caribbean island he and his family would go to for their summer holiday, but certainly the zeitgeist and attitude are what I’m re-cultivating.
In fact, I’ve put in place for myself exactly what I would offer a client in my position for recovery, including far less doing and FAR MORE BEING.
Time out, time to laze, time to play, time to read, and definitely time to sit with myself and process what’s trying to emerge from my magnificence that, clearly, some part of me doesn’t want to emerge…
Paradoxically, given I’ve been doing too much, I can hear the criticism echoing down the halls of time, “You’re just too much!” So, I learned to dumb myself down, and, whatever I did, to most definitely not shine.
Crash and burn is a great way to ensure you don’t!
What repeating behaviour have you used, or still use, to keep yourself small?
How do you do that to you, woman?
Love and wild warm wishes…
Guiding midlife professional women from “I didn’t sign up for this!”
to reclaim their spark, redefine their path, and design a life they love.
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