My exploration started with a realisation it’s September already.
Who knew?
The last time I looked it was June!
September reminded me of Keats’ ‘mellow fruitfulness’ in his Ode to Autumn. That led to thoughts of my own ‘fruitfulness.’ Both my children were conceived in September and born within 3 days of each other in June, 11 years apart.
Then I saw that ‘mellow fruitfulness’ is a metaphor for any potential we can give birth to, you and I!
A freakin’ triple somersault in my psyche then next reminded me of times my fruitfulness was sabotaged unconsciously by others AND by me…
Awarded a scholarship to the top girls’ innovative grammar school in London, at 13 I was taken away to attend a dull-as-ditch-water local school where I died.
At 16, the soonest I could, I left and went to work in a chemist in Great Portland St. Then as an admin assistant in a large local factory.
I could weep for that gorgeous young woman who didn’t know how bright or talented she was. There was nothing wrong with those jobs but there was with me.
A robot unconsciously being who she’d been trained to be to get by.
At 18 a single parent to my very much wanted son. By 20 his father had pissed off leaving me in the lurch. How on earth did I manage all that?
Thank the Goddess, my latent fruitfulness was around even if I didn’t know it!
I didn’t ‘go on the social.’ I learned enough shorthand and typing in 3 months to con my way into my first secretarial post and learned how to do it on the job.
It sure as hell wasn’t easy but, through sheer love of my child, I’d tapped into my streetwise fruitfulness, determined we’d survive.
Next, a line from ‘The Invitation’ by Oriah Mountain Dreamer popped into my head. ‘I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone and do what needs to be done to feed the children.’
I certainly knew that one!
Later she says, ‘I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself’. To ‘not betray your own soul.’
I felt a deep weary sadness for all the times that I did. Yet…
It’s the human condition. We all betray our Wild Soul until we’re able to tap into its fruitfulness. The potential aligned with who we’re designed to be rather than for survival.
Then it truly becomes mellow fruitfulness; soft, sweet and full-flavoured from its ripeness.
Here’s to yours!
Love and wild warm wishes…
PS… If you’re curious about tapping into your own mellow fruitfulness, you can start by overcoming how you block it here…
Psychotherapy & Tarot Consultations with Sharon
6-Session Wild Soul Programme here…
How to Successfully Overcome Sneaky Self-Sabotage here…