It’s either me, the general zeitgeist, or a mixture of the two…
What is?
Well, I’m not just noticing, I’m strongly noticing patronising and sexist behaviour in some men I’ve come across recently.
At the same time, I’ve read several reports on LinkedIn of patriarchal, misogynistic, and sexist behaviours not just with women but girls too.
Grrrrrrrrr… Luckily I didn’t burn my bra back in the day otherwise I’d want to claim for expenses!
Because nothing much seems to have changed since then in the everyday violations by some men who seem to think we of the female persuasion are there to either demean or lust over.
One example cited was a restaurant table full of men, one of whom said to someone’s 11-year-old daughter as she passed on her way to the loo, “I wish you were my dessert. I’d eat you all up.”
W T F!
And not one of the other men said anything to him about his inappropriate behaviour.
W T F!
So, I’m calling on all the goddesses to support me, and I hope you, in calling out patriarchal, misogynistic, and sexist behaviour whenever we see it, like…
Would you say that to your daughter if you had one?
Does your partner know you say things like that to other women?
Oh, you don’t have a partner? I wonder why that is.
How would you feel if a man came up and said xyz to you?
(You could replace “said xyz” with “talked dirty”).
SHAMING is a great deterrent.
I remember an actress shouting back at a photographer when he called out for her to show leg, “Would you ask a man to do that? Shame on you!”
And…
If you see a woman or girl being harassed, intervene!
For example, pretend to be a friend… So sorry I’m late, shall we sit over there? Or if in public, ask them the way to something local and then ask them to walk with you as you get confused by directions.
On the tube, take a photo of the perpetrator if you possibly can, and engage the woman or girl in conversation so the perp is minimised. That’s the official advice.
Instead, I’ve been known to shout something like, “Leave her alone, can’t you see she’s not interested, mate?” followed by, to the woman, “Come and stand (or sit) by me.”
I’m sure I’m not the only woman on a packed tube train who’s felt something being pushed at her bottom from behind. A quick look over your shoulder and a very loud “Stop pushing your dick into me!” does the trick!
Mmm… I hadn’t realised I’d written so much but I hope it’s been useful for you…
BTW, if you feel afraid of confronting, I promise you it will be one of the most liberating things you’ve ever done… especially if you shout whatever you say so people nearby can hear!
You experience sheer triumph, woman, standing up on the side of another woman, or anyone, whom you see on the end of sexist harassment aka bullying.
Liberation, woman… Freakin’ liberation!
Love and wild warm wishes…
Helping midlife women nourish their souls to empower their lives
PPS… If you or a woman you know is ready to step out of the shadows of Domestic Abuse, a colleague of mine, Michelle El Din, is running a fantastic transformational, heart-centred 1-hour session designed to equip you with practical life-changing tools to re-ignite your self-esteem. 10.30am, Tuesday 12 November online. Join the Facebook community for women rebuilding their lives at A New You. For more information or to sign up for the event email michelle@kmerecruitment.com
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